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3 Tips for Learning How to Forgive

By Operation Meditation

Being able to forgive those who have hurt you and caused you pain, be it physical or emotional, is a vitally important life skill. However, this is also a topic that can be extremely touchy and many people are unwilling to even think about the concept of forgiveness, preferring instead to hold a grudge, sometimes for many years.

Being able to forgive someone can be very difficult, but if you are able to do this, then you will notice the benefits to your happiness and well-being. Resenting the person who hurt you will only prolong the pain and make it more difficult for you to move on with your life and enjoy what the future has to offer.

Be comfortable with yourself

In order to be able to forgive another person, you must first be happy with yourself and your own state of mind. If you are still feeling resentful, then it is important that you take care of this issue and improve your own well-being first.

Meditation is one method that can help you to feel more relaxed and at peace. It alters the brainwave patterns being produced, from beta to alpha, in a state of light meditation. This will help you to relax and feel more comfortable in your own body. Meditation also boosts the levels of several chemicals produced by the body, such as endorphins, serotonin and GABA, which all help to improve and stabilise your mood and make you feel better. Many mental health problems are due to the levels of these chemicals being too low.

Look at the positive side

Every situation will have some positive aspects, so think about why this person may have hurt you and why it still bothers you so much. Have you learned something from this unfortunate situation? If so, then going through the pain could have been worthwhile in the end as it will have helped you to grow and develop as a person.

This means that even an unpleasant and painful situation can have a positive outcome. If you can think of the situation in this way, then it will be easier for you to forgive the person and move on.

Write it all down

Put pen to paper and write down everything that you feel and think about the situation, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. Write about what has made you angry and what you have learned from the experience. Try to be balanced – every situation has both positive and negative aspects. Being able to see all of this in black and white may help you to come to terms with what happened, and finally allow you to feel as though you can move on.

Learning to forgive can be a difficult process and it is likely to take a considerable amount of time for you to achieve. Be patient and do not expect to be able to forgive the person in question immediately – it can take many months, sometimes even years, to completely come to terms with what has happened.

Surround yourself with people who will support you and be there if you need to talk, be they friends, family or colleagues. This will help you to see and understand that not everybody will hurt you like the person you are looking to forgive. This will, over time, help you to move on, learn from the experience, whatever it may have been, and then to leave it all in the past. Once you are able to do this, you will feel the benefits in both your physical and mental health.

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