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The Do’s and Don’ts of Learning How to Accept Yourself
Do you find it hard to be comfortable with who you are? Are you wishing for the day that you can look in the mirror and see a face smiling back at you, instead of the one that that tells you you’re not good enough?
When you don’t accept who you are as a person, you don’t get the joy of experiencing a life of contentment and satisfaction. You can’t fully celebrate all that you have to offer because you close your eyes to it. You focus on your negative qualities and totally ignore your positive ones.
If this is you, you can learn to accept yourself and live a filling, fruitful life. And, the best part is that you can start right now and feel the effects immediately. You just have to know the do’s and don’ts that will get you where you want to be.
Don’t define yourself by your mistakes, but by your achievements. Have you ever noticed that it’s easier to accept and forgive others for their shortcomings, but when it comes to ourselves we seldom cut ourselves any slack? Someone else can commit the most heinous crime against us and we’ll say, “Oh, that’s okay. They’re just misunderstood.” But if we so much as cut a fingernail crooked, we’re useless and a waste of space.
While it’s a great virtue to forgive those that tread on us, it’s an even greater virtue to forgive ourselves. If you screw up, so be it. Don’t let it define you. It’s an action you took, not an indicator of your self-worth.
Instead of focusing on things that you have done wrong, concentrate on the things that you’ve done right. Celebrate your achievements. Congratulate yourself on positive decisions. Be your own cheerleader.
Don’t compare yourself to other people.
You can’t ever accept yourself if you compare yourself to others and feel you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or whatever enough. You’ll always look at yourself as more subordinate and under par.
You’ll always find someone who can do something better than you. However, you’ll also find things that you can do better than other people, so in the end it’s a wash. Everyone has strengths in different areas.
Embrace your uniqueness. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Just be yourself.
Do let go of perfection.
If you’re waiting to love yourself when you’re perfect, you’re going to be waiting forever. No one is perfect. Instead of aiming for perfection, aim to be better than you are. Try your hardest and do the best you can. The results may not be perfect, but they’ll be better than if you didn’t try at all.
Do focus on your strong attributes.
Instead of looking in the psychological mirror and picking out all the things you don’t like about yourself, pick out the things you do. Focus on the attributes that have served you well during the course of your life.
Everyone is strong in certain areas. Maybe you’re a born nurturer or mentor. Perhaps you’re good under pressure and shine in stressful situations. Are you someone that people like to be around because you smile and make them feel good? Focus on these qualities.
Do something every day that makes you feel good about yourself. If you find it a struggle to accept yourself, then do things that make you feel better. Engage in activities that reaffirm your positive self-worth. What are some options?
• Take care of your outer appearance. Just making yourself up instead of letting yourself go is often enough to make you feel better instantly.
• Help someone in need. When you’re there to assist someone else with their struggles, it can’t help but put a smile on your face knowing you did something good.
• Meditate for contentment and peace. Take the time to sit by yourself and clear your mind of all the negative so you can focus strictly on the positive.
Once you realize that you’re great just the way you are, you’ll open yourself up to a whole new level of happiness. Instead of spending time knocking yourself down, you’ll focus on lifting yourself up which, incidentally, is where you belong.